The Secret to Staying in Love
Agape Love: The Secret to Staying in Love
(Marriage Series)
In the Greek Culture, love was described with different words:
Eros = Passionate love with a sensual desire or longing. Romantic Love. (Wilkepedia).
Phileo = To be a friend of. To have a fond affection for. (Strongs). Used to describe Jesus love for Lazarus, the churches love Paul, God’s love for us (other words used too), etc.
Agape = A deliberate choice. Shown through actions. Showing affection for. (Vines). This is a kind of love we are to have for God and others. The husband is to agape love his wife. God agape loved us and showed it by sending Jesus (John 3:16).
Application for Singles:
It is important to be romantically and physically attracted to a potential/future spouse. However, that is not enough to run the marathon of marriage. Agape love is the ultimate glue. The real question is, “Can I and this other person choose to agape love each other?” If the answer yes, that is a good foundation for marriage. I have also observed in relationships that sometimes the Eros or romantic love may not be there at first (I.E. no love at first sight). This should not be a big concern, as it may just need time to grow. I can name at least six couples where this was the case early on and it took time for both to experience this. However, if it eventually does not show up, that is a red flag.
Fact #1: Agape Love is Shown through Actions (1 Cor 13)
Fact #2: Agape Love takes Sacrifice and Denying Self (Eph 5:25-33)
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Our love should not be based on our feelings. We are to love despite our emotional state or frame of mind.
Fact #3: Agape Loves Nourishes, Cherishes & Meets Needs(Eph 5:25-33)
Why Agape Love:
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Out of reverence for Christ (Eph 5:21)
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Because God has loved us (1 John 4:11)
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Because of personal benefit and marriage improvement (Eph 5:28; 1 Peter 3:1-5).
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Because it is the secret to staying in love.
The Following is taken from Fall in Love, Stay in Love by Willard Harley:
Two Types of Love:
Romantic Love:
The feeling of being in love—finding someone irresistible. [Eros & some Phileo]
Caring Love:
A decision to try to do what you can to make someone happy—a willingness and effort to care for someone [Agape love].
If you and your spouse want to trigger the feeling of romantic love in each other, you must show caring love [agape]. Caring love is a decision to try to do what you can to make someone happy-a willingness and effort to care for someone.
(C) 2006 Arlen Busenitz. http://www.truthapplied.com
Given at Church on 11-5-06